My Alchemical Romance
Bertha Granderson
"The dead can still warm a room."
Granny Handjobs, also known as Bertha Granderson, is an undead zombie companion animated into the strange orbit of My Alchemical Romance by Morgan Draxler. Her current existence is tied to necromantic experiments and a spark of flamespeaking that makes her more than an ordinary corpse.
Summoned by Morgan Draxler. Fought a flameskull beside Morgan and unlocked her pyrokinesis tree.
2026-01-23
Haunted hag wedding house
Huge old woman / illusion presence
Appears as Aunt Bertha or Granny Handjobs — Bertha Granderson inside the wedding-house illusion.
Status: Bertha/Granny imagery tied to Gertie's illusion
Knowledge: Players know Granny Handjobs has symbolic or recurring hag-illusion significance before Morgan's later companion name echoes.
Zombie companion / door-check comic relief
Attempts to work a door with Sleight of Hand while the table jokes about whether she is proficient with handles.
Status: Granny remains active but not decisive in the finale
Knowledge: Players know her autonomy continues to be comic and mechanically risky.
Wrong chooser / severed-arm picker
Opens a chest containing a severed arm and a heart piece, chooses the arm, and causes the heart piece to vanish.
Status: Party loses a potential heart piece
Knowledge: Players know Granny's limited instincts can cost major objective progress.
Re-summoned distraction / named undead persona
Is re-summoned as Bertha Granderson and attempts to seduce or distract Timonos Truthstriker, failing physically but rattling him.
Status: Bertha Granderson name attaches to Granny's combat persona
Knowledge: Players know the joke has mechanical distraction consequences.
Distraction object / Timonos attention split
Draws some of Timonos Truthstriker's attention while Morgan and Vic try to survive.
Status: Granny helps disrupt Timonos's focus
Knowledge: Players know the companion affects enemy behavior beyond damage.
Upgraded undead companion / pyrokinesis recipient
Fights a flameskull with Morgan and gains access to a pyrokinesis tree after Morgan activates the flaming crystal.
Status: Granny Handjobs gains pyrokinesis path
Knowledge: Players know the undead companion is becoming a distinct magical asset.
Pressure assistant / undead helper
Helps Morgan apply pressure to stabilize Braska's bleeding.
Status: Granny contributes to non-combat support
Knowledge: Players know Morgan's undead companion can affect practical scenes too.
Act 5, Episode 3, Scene 24
2026-01-29 / Reliquary corridor
The reliquary standoff resumes as the sentries demand a massive tithe and the rival looters wait to see whether the party survives.
Act 5, Episode 3, Scene 30
2026-01-29 / Reliquary corridor
After defeating the Raiders, the party stabilizes Brent and Larry while Morgan begins harvesting a dead Raider for necromantic use.
Act 5, Episode 4, Scene 12
2026-02-19 / Side corridor with horn trap
Morgan finds Braska the Red impaled and bleeding, and he reveals that a crazed minotaur stole one of his heart pieces.
Act 5, Episode 4, Scene 14
2026-02-19 / Maze corridor near Braska
Morgan meets Vic Vaurr, a minotaur barbarian trapped in Vithyrex's Maze while searching for his missing dog.
Act 5, Episode 4, Scene 15
2026-02-19 / Side corridor and crawl passage
Morgan defeats a flameskull, recovers a warm flaming crystal, and unlocks Granny Handjobs's pyrokinesis tree.
Act 5, Episode 4, Scene 32
2026-03-05 / Timonos Truthstriker corridor
Vic attacks Timonos with hand axes while Morgan fights from near death and Timonos calls both of them beloved.
Showing 6 of 10 linked story pages. Use the Session Appearances timeline above for the broader appearance history.
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The reliquary standoff resumes as the sentries demand a massive tithe and the rival looters wait to see whether the party survives.
storyAfter defeating the Raiders, the party stabilizes Brent and Larry while Morgan begins harvesting a dead Raider for necromantic use.
storyMorgan finds Braska the Red impaled and bleeding, and he reveals that a crazed minotaur stole one of his heart pieces.
storyMorgan meets Vic Vaurr, a minotaur barbarian trapped in Vithyrex's Maze while searching for his missing dog.
storyMorgan defeats a flameskull, recovers a warm flaming crystal, and unlocks Granny Handjobs's pyrokinesis tree.
storyVic attacks Timonos with hand axes while Morgan fights from near death and Timonos calls both of them beloved.
storyMorgan re-summons Granny Handjobs as Bertha Granderson and uses her to distract Timonos Truthstriker.
storyMorgan beats a hidden three-brick temptation test and steals both a heart piece and Dragon Claw from Vithyrex.
storyGranny Handjobs opens a chest with a heart piece and a severed arm, chooses the arm, and loses the heart piece.
storyArthur explains Castro's conquered planes, the Lonely Islands dragonborn captivity, imprisoned dragons, and the growing dragonborn army.
aspectPyrokinesis is an imported aspect from the Jericha Aspect Data sheet. Its full lore and named powers can be expanded here as the canon text is added.
Hidden until revealed.